I think we’ve all been in that situation before. A perfectly good comeback cockblocked because the other party didn’t say the thing you came up with the comeback to.

I don’t know if the rewiring in the second panel is even possible, much less whether it works as described. In theory, you could wire a pair of humbuckers to act as four single-coil pickups, though I’m pretty sure gutting a cat with a rusty butter knife would be quicker and produce about the same tone.

For those who care, Jay presumably wants a Les Paul for the same reasons I want one: a fixed bridge and the tone (and hum-cancelling) of the pickups. Her stated reason falls apart when you consider that Eric Clapton could probably make a kazoo sound pretty damn nice.