I’ve learned the following life lessons today:

1. When shouting at a leashless dog to “back off,” owner of said dog will automatically assume that you’ve threatened the safety and or life of the dog
2. That a hospital visit that I literally cannot afford is not a sufficient reason to react negatively to said leashless dog
3. That I will be killed should I carry out the aforementioned nonextant threat
4. That I’d better buy a coffin and/or tombstone, I can’t quite recall
5. That an unarmed, overweight man can kill an armed man half his age and weight
6. That I’d give him the chance when I can easily outrun him
7. That I can easily talk my way out of a fight
8. That the worst I’ll actually do is to vent my impotent rage via the internet

Most importantly, I was reminded that dog owners are truly the scum of the earth. Seriously, go fucking shoot yourselves.