wells fargo does not have my best interests at heart, but they can fake it real good
About five or ten minutes ago, I bought a (blasphemous1 but apartment-friendly2 electric) drum kit off eBay. About sixty seconds ago, I received a call from Wells Fargo to verify that I had indeed authorized PayPal to charge a large sum to my Visa.3 Granted, any bank should do this, but the alacrity4 and the (blasphemous6) to-the-point ease of the conversation are very nice, and surprising given how many horror stories I hear about my bank.7 And for fuck’s sake, I paid several hundred dollars, to PayPal no less, that transcends “potential lapse in personal security.” So while the supergiant corporation Wells Fargo clearly cares very little about me,8 I can rest assured that said supergiant corporation still wants me as a customer and will cover my sorry ass should Bad Things happen to further that end.
On a related note, I have a bit of credit card debt that could use some commissions plowed into it. Hint hint.
1 Seriously. Ask any drummer, guitarist, pianist or orchestra snob about electronic instruments. Just don’t ask synth keyboardists, that’s sort of their bread and butter.
2 Seriously. Ask any apartment-dweller about the importance of volume knobs, especially later at night.
3 It would have been a hell of a lot easier to use my bank account, yes, but then I’d have to hit up my credit card to make rent, and charges have a lower interest rate than balance transfers. Assuming PayPal doesn’t go down as a balance transfer, in which case I’m fucked either way.
4 Thank you, Thesaurus.com!
5 This footnote is both recursive and entirely superfluous.5
6 Phone conversations are not meant to go smoothly. If anything about the conversation were anything other than an affront to God, it would not be taking place over the telephone.
7 Protip: Every bank has horror stories. Trim the fat by verifying the storyteller wasn’t just being incredibly stupid, as is more prone to happen than a bank violently raping you for no reason.
8 If you doubt the authenticity of this statement, feel free to ask me what I pay in interest on the aforementioned Visa.
… This post has many footnotes.